Saturday, September 26, 2009

I'm back!

I never was gone, just lazy. Anyway I'm here now. Nothing to say, kids! Here's some images.

Truly this is my finest work ever. Meaning? Who fuckin' knows, I just thought it was funny!

This is actually a lithograph from my class back in the spring. It turned out okay, but honestly I didn't put forth the proper amount of effort. Still, a finished image is better than none.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Every day I drive by this building and I think the same thing every time.
"Wood County Regional Airport"
"Formerly Pizza Hut"
Didn't know an airport could be smaller than my apartment, but I guess this town's full of surprises. Speaking of which here's a pamphlet from the travel agency I just made up for the sake of this joke.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Doodles Part 3

Savor it while you can, its the last of the doodles.
Started just drawing headshots of me and a few of my buddies. Thought I'd label them. Uh, I kind of lost track though when I started adding people that don't exist. For example, "The Fat Guy" isn't an actual person. But I think every group of friends/team of badasses needs to have an archetypal "Fat Guy" in order to be complete. And then on the bottom part is just...uhh.... some shit.

Guess you could say I kind of went overboard with the idea I had for this one. It requires some explanation. So, you remember that Alvin and the Chipmunks cartoon from the 80s? No? Well I sure as hell do for some reason. So, during the intro there was this part in which all 3 chipmunks transform into bikers momentarily. Simon had this helmet that I've never seen anyone ever wear, not even in other cartoons, and that is the helmet you see here. If you still don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, just watch this:
40 seconds in. There it is. I don't know why, but I find that hat to be one of the most hilarious things ever. Don't try to reason why, my mind's all fucked up like that. Anyway, so I play Team Fortress 2 a lot, because it rules. I don't know, just thought about incorporating the two because its funny to me.

Enjoy it, this is the last time you'll ever see me draw Mario. Drawings of Mario and Mario-related things have oversaturated the internet so much, it honestly makes me...well, not sick, but I kind of make a disgusted look on my face when I think about it.

The end.

Doodles Part 2

More doodles of a half-assed nature!

I am the king of good taste. Part one of a two-part story.

Heh heh I guess this is drawing NUMBER TWO haaaaaaa ha ha ha. Damn I'm smooth.

This is that History professor again. This time drawn with a bunch of birds. No further explanation needed.

Doodles Part 1

While rummaging through the large volume of crap underneath my bed, I came across a notebook from last semester. Of course there were numerous half-ass sketches filling the pages in lieu of actual notes, so I decided to scan in some of the more worthwhile ones and post them here! What a treat.Topping this one off is a series of headshots of Chuck E. Cheese's own "Munch" character, going through an emotional spectrum, I guess. Below that is uh.....oh gosh, I don't even want to explain. That fat old guy that isn't Santa Claus is a security guard where I work. Was a security guard where I work, his fat ass got canned. Anyway....eahhhh figure it out for yourself, kiddies.
This was a history teacher I had. The guy was actually pretty awesome, unfortunately I didn't give 1/32 of a shit about the stuff he was teaching, so I didn't pay much attention/attend class regularly. The term "Wild-Eyed old man" comes to mind.
A promotional message.

A fucking screaming skull

My first attempt at stone lithography. Image is kind of generic, but I don't give a shit. I think it turned out quite allright.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

"Back To School" is complete bullshit

Of all the Rodney Dangerfield movies that were made, there is but one that I will openly detest. That is "Back To School" as you geniuses might have guessed from the heading of this article. The basic plot is that Rodney Dangerfield, who plays Rodney Dangerfield in the movie, goes to college with his son despite the fact that Rodney Dangerfield is both old and, in fact, Rodney Dangerfield.
Needless to say, shenanigans ensue for about an hour and a half. As with any movie made about college, the stuffy Dean of Students is the antagonist. So the Dean is all gettin' up on Rodney Dangerfield for being Rodney Dangerfield, so what does Rodney Dangerfield do? ...I foget exactly, myself. But he ruins the Dean's shit somehow. And then this happens, which is why I FUCKING HATE THIS MOVIE:
And thats pretty much it. Rodney Dangerfield wins the movie. The end. Bullshit.
I don't know how Mr. Dangerfield tolerated having such a fiasco of a movie in his repertoire, it certainly tarnishes the fine reputation he had. Ah well, at least we can all enjoy a true masterpiece of cinema-- "Rover Dangerfield" which gets 100 thumbs up from me.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Time for some fine art

Below are actual drawings I've found scribbled on the bathroom walls of an automotive factory. Men, upwards of 35 years in age, scrawled these gems out while taking a shit.

Part one of a three-part narrative. Extensive labeling was done, as to avoid confusion. The United States of America, clearly, is shaped like a kidney bean. Geographical errors aside, this is clearly a biting commentary on the nation's current economy. Let us see what happens next...

And now theres a translucent banana with a flag, carrying a set of ankhs across what I can only assume are sine waves. Part 2 of this saga leaves me with even more questions than part 1 did.

Phase 3 of this triptych ties up all loose ends. As with the first piece, there is heavy labeling to clear things up. Mexico, an island, a fucking circular island, was the destination all along. Just what the hell they need a set of ankhs for remains a mystery to me.

This gem was drawn on the side of a toilet paper dispenser, in a stall adjacent to the one housing the above triptych. I believe this is Mr. Potatohead, with full goatee attached, despite the lack of any sort of mouth.

That same toilet paper dispenser had this scratched onto the front. Actually I think it is funny.

A completely different bathroom alltogether is home to these illustrations. I think theres a story here but I can only guess the plot. There was an alligator with a punk hairdoo whos minding his own shit when "Pig Pen" from the Peanuts gang comes by and starts breathing a laser onto his neck. Very postmodern.

Ha ha ha, what the fuck.

Friday, January 30, 2009

You dirty rat.

So I got a call from a friend of mine last night, telling me of this fiasco involving a rat in the dorms. Apparently someone in her dorm had a pet rat, the RA found out, and since they aren't allowed, the little rat was left outside in the cold. My friend and a band of misfit goodie-two-shoes located the rat and decided to call me to take it off their hands, as I already have 2 rats. Being the sucker that I am, I agreed. So now I have a third rat.I named him Jeffrey. As far as I can tell, he's very lethargic.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Allright, this is probably going to be the last time I dig deep into old drawings/paintings to put up here. This was done...uhhh....well, a long time ago. I liked it then and I like it now. Simple and made up, but I at least get the impression of retina burn.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Second page I did for the group zombie comic mentioned in the previous post.
One of a couple pages I did back in November, as part of a group zombie comic. I think it speaks for itself.

And then there were comics

Looking through my hard drive for other work I scanned in a long time ago. This one is about a year and a half old. Based on a true story. And not one I just made up.

Monday, January 12, 2009


I was looking through old work I have on my hard drive, and came across this small watercolor I did like a year and a half ago. Its of an old friend I used to know. I used selective, unnatural colors for whatever reason. I think it still looks good, which is surprising for anything I draw/paint.


Here we are. Who are you? Why the hell would you come to this awful place? You are subject to my tyranny here, you know that, right? Excellent. Time to get down to business.

This is a sad bear. I drew him a year ago, I think. Took a whole 4 minutes, too. Why do I choose this for the first thing to upload to this miserable blog? I don't know, it was just there on my hard drive and I don't feel like scanning anything in right now, so deal with it.

And then I thought of some more junk to put here:

The Tourettes Guy, one of my heroes. They say he's dead, but I don't buy it. Not because I think they were liars, but because he can't die. Thats all there is to it, folks.

The Time Traveler. Some of you might not be familiar with who this guy is, but don't worry, it doesn't take long to explain. In fact, I don't have to type anything about it:

You just can't make something like this up.